Nancy Campbell of Above Rubies sends out periodic email newsletters. As I contemplate the end of my “freedom” in church in a few weeks, I found this part especially timely. I hope it encourages others as well.
(For the record, I don’t agree with going to church when you are sick.)
IS IT WORTH GOING TO CHURCH?
Recently an Above Rubies reader wrote and asked me, “Have you ever had difficulty sitting in church with many little ones? I wonder if it is just our season to stay home and not even bother attending church since we are so busy handling the little ones. Were you ever in this season in your life?”
I think this is something that many mothers wonder about so I thought I would share my answer with you all.
“Dear mother, I know how you feel. Many times when my children were little I wondered whether it was worth going to church too. However, I realized that church was more than sitting in a building listening to the pastor. Church is the people. We need to be reminded of that. So when you go to church, dear mother, even if you spend your whole time in the nursery, or much of your time training your children to sit in church, it is still worth it.
You are doing three things. Firstly, you have opportunity to fellowship with others (fellowship with other mothers in the nursery can be precious fellowship) which is so important. This is as important as listening to a message. You also have the opportunity to share with others and to pass on a blessing or a little encouragement to someone else. Remember, you don’t go to church to get, but to give-and preeminently to give a blessing.
Secondly, you are training your children to sit in church. It sure takes a lot of training, but if you stay home, your children will learn that you do NOT have a commitment to church. If you go, even if it isnt all perfect, and you don’t even get to hear the preacher, you are accomplishing something. You are showing by your actions to your children that you put God first in your lives and that it is important to fellowship with the saints and go to church. You show that God is a priority in your lives. You show to your children your commitment to God and to His people.
You take seriously the admonition in Hebrews 10:25, “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is: but exhorting one another: and so much the more as ye see the day approaching.”
My husband just said to me today, “Many people want the church to be there for them, but they are not there for the church!”
Thirdly, you are following the example of Jesus whose habit was to go to the house of God. We need to keep to this habit in our own lives and to establish this habit in the lives of our children. If our children see that we decide to stay home from church for whatever reason, when they are older they will stay home for even less reasons.
We have never missed going to church as a family-rain, hail or snow! And even when we were sick. It’s the best place to get healed!
Luke 4:16 says, “And he came to Nazareth, where he had been brought up: and, as his custom was, he went into the synagogue on the Sabbath day, and stood up for to read.”
Keep plodding on. It’s not always easy, but you are doing the right thing. Never stay away from church, just because the children aren’t perfect. That is a defeatist attitude.
We expected our children to be in church every Sunday morning and Sunday evening. I would bring sheep skins for the little ones to lie on and go to sleep for the Sunday evening services. Did they get sick of church? Never! They are all in church today and all involved.
Loads of love, NANCY
Sallie,
Thank you so much for posting such encouragement! I really needed to be reminded of this, as church has been quite challenging for us lately, and I find myself dreading church with the new baby when I feel like the other two are already difficult.
I also liked being told it was okay for a child to fall asleep in church at night. Our four-year-old often does this, and I always feel guilty about it. Now I feel free to extend a bit of grace to him and simply soak up the extra cuddles!
Thanks again!
I wish we could find a church where the children were welcome in the service and we were supported in having them there. Last week we went through the usual hustle of getting everyone ready. Once we were in the van I took a few deep breaths and said to my husband, “I hope we didn’t go through all this just so the kids can watch a Veggie Tales video during Sunday School.” Well, guess what. Thankfully, my kids made it clear that they *do not* want to watch Veggie Tales (my middle son finds it scary, lol!) so the teacher grudgingly but graciously improvised a lesson for them.
I think the response you quoted here is excellent, but I do take issue with her mention of coming to church when the children are sick. I can’t tell you what a difficult time we go through each winter because families don’t keep their sick children at home. Both of my boys have asthma and a simple cold can mean a week in the hospital, a week of lost work for my husband, and a week of me sleeping with my distraut child in an oxygen tent on a twin size bed. I think it is just common courtesy to keep yourself or your children at home when they are sick.
Brandy – So glad it encouraged you!
Amy – I agree with you about the illness thing. I almost edited that out since I didn’t agree with it(!), but left it in to post in its entirety. 🙂
I think this was a great article, mainly because it pinpointed the fact that even though life gets busy and hectic with children, it isn’t an excuse to put God on the back burner. If anything, you’ll need Him in each moment more than ever! I have a secondary thought to go with this however, as I’ve passed through seasons of this as well. My husband and I were very torn about what was best for our family when our 1st child arrived. She was VERY difficult and colicky, and naptime fell SMACK DAB at the beginning of church on Sunday mornings. Going to church was not an enjoyable experience, and between tossing the baby back and forth between us, neither of us heard the sermon. We prayerfully decided that until that particular season on infanthood passed (and it did within a couple months) we would have church at home. My husband and I would listen to a sermon, or do our own study, pray, and spend time worshiping while our daughter slept peacefully in her crib. We would get our fellowship time in during other times of the week, and even invite others to our home for dinner. With our second child we were lucky enough to have the option to attend Saturday night services that began, and so there have been no conflicts as far as that goes. But had Sunday AM been the only option, we most likely would have done the same thing again. I firmly think it would be better to honor God at home for a couple months than to be a short tempered stress-case in front of/ with your kids all the way to church and then turn on the “church face” when you get there. Don’t think your kids won’t see the fakeness! And that’s certainly not the impression I would want to impart to my children about church. The decision has to be prayerfully made and led by the Spirit. Honestly I was a bit nervous at first because I was afraid of what others would think, but then realized that this wasn’t about what others thought, but my own walk with Christ and how I was a witness to my own children. I missed being at church for those weeks, but God gave us plenty to delve into, study and thank Him for at home until we returned. So, I guess I just wanted to encourage others to not be too legalistic about church. That’s not an excuse not to go by any means, I’m just saying don’t stress over it. God knows exactly where you’re at, what your needs are, and how He will meet them. Don’t be afraid to ask and depend on Him to provide the perfect answer. If He says go, then by all means go! But if you’re given peace about another option for a small amount of time, don’t be afraid to live by His gracious option as well.
Church has been a bad experience for us as well. It is getting better. The church we go to is not used to haveing children in the service. I know we should look for a new one that is more child friendly, but that is easier said than done. After church hopping my entire child hood it will take blatant heresy to get me out of this one. I will say that the church is starting to be more welcome to the idea of little ones in the service and they have provided a nice crying room.
Yes, sick kids (and adults) need to stay home! The elderly do not take colds well and they can turn into pneumonia. We had a family with a Down’s syndrome girl who got a cold that turned into pneumonia everytime they came to church. They, now, don’t even attend.
This is a very encouraging article. We have 9 children ranging in age from 19 1/2 all the way down to 3, with a new baby due in the spring. We do have a family friendly church, and most families keep their children with them, including our pastor’s family of 7 children. At times, when I have to get up with one or more, I mutter under my breath, “why did I come”. It does get frustrating, yet, it is true, we are not there just to “take” but to give too.
The only thing I did not agree with in this article is bring sick ones to church. There are families that have children or adults with low immune systems, including us with a child with severe heart disease. It bugs me when kids come with fevers or were just throwing up the day before. So often we come healthy on Sunday and are sick by Wednesday. It ends up WE stay away from church during some of the winter weeks when we know a lot of junk is going around, to protect our daughter.
Just my 2cents worth! I enjoy your blog. ~~Loni